There's Dependence, Independence, and then there's Inter-dependence!

I'm currently reading Stephen R. Covey's book "The 7 habit's of Highly Effective People" and am fascinated by this concept of Dependence, Independence and Interdependence. I get the process of growth from a child being dependent on it's parents, and then as it grows it breaks free from them, becomes liberated. And then as that child grow's into an adult and has friends, relationships and possibly get's married, then learns interdependence - that still being an independent individual, but in the 'pooling' of skills/resources can achieve much more in a 'team' or committed relationship.

Well, that is the basics of this concept. But I like how he goes on to elaborate on independence and interdependence. Here is a little excerpt from the book to explain what really got me thinking today:

Dependent people need others to get what they want.
Independent people can get what they want through their own efforts.
Interdependent people combine their efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success.

Physically dependent - someone paralyzed, disabled or limited in some way - I would need you to help me.
Emotionally dependent - My sense of worth and security would come from your opinion of me.
Intellectually dependent - I would count on you to do my thinking for me, to think through issues and problems of my life.

Physically Independent - I could pretty well make it on my own.
Mentally Independent - I could think my own thoughts, I could think creatively and analytically and organize and express my thoughts in understandable ways.
Emotionally Independent - I would be validated from within. I would be Inner directed. My sense of worth would not be a function of being liked or treated well.

Interdependence is a far more mature, more advanced concept.

Physically Interdependent - I am self-reliant and capable, but I also realize that you and I working together can accomplish far more than, even at my best, i could accomplish alone.
Emotionally Interdependent - I derive a great sense of worth within myself; but i also recognize the need for love, for giving, and for receiving love from others.
Intellectually Interdependent - I realize that I need the best thinking of other people to join with my own."


This really got me thinking today of where I personally ranked in this scheme of things. I like to think that I'm a pretty independent person. I have spent many years on my own learning who I am and how I operate, and that I am a worthy person. And yet, reading this made me realise that there still is a part of me that screams out for validation from others. Could it be that I am not as Independent as I thought - maybe that is something that I can work on....my emotional independence?

And I truly believe that Interdependence is an ongoing learning process as we grow we can always improve in this.

I love reading books like this that expand my thinking, introduce new ideas and concepts to me and give me something that I can work on to improve myself and become the best version of me that I can be.